An Irrational Fear

I can't recall when I became so terrified of bugs. There was no specific instance I can point to as an explanation for my fear, I only know that I didn't used to have a problem with them and now I do. Not too long ago a friend and I were discussing our irrational fear of all bugs. As we both talked I began to realize how completely insane we sounded. This didn't help allay my fears, it just made me realize how crazy those fears were. I have to check inside my coffee cup each morning in case a spider got into it (because I once saw a spider in one of the coffee cups)and my shoes in case a cockroach crawled in. At night I won't walk around downstairs without slippers or shoes on my feet (a habit I developed recently after seeing a cockroach in the family room). I also will sleep with my entire body under the covers, including head, if I hear a fly or mosquito in my room (so they don't fly into my ears, nose, or mouth).
Any kind of bug bothers me to a certain degree, though spiders and cockroaches are the worst. I can't bring myself to get anywhere near a cockroach. It took me nearly five minutes of standing outside in the dark last night when I saw a cockroach in front of my door before I figured out a plan to get in and worked up the nerve to implement it (the plan being - stay as far from cockroach as possible while trying to scare it away with stomping and/or my shadow). And, of course, when I finally scared it away and ran inside the house a cockroach was waiting inside as well. I made some sort of screeching sound out of fear and fled the room, grateful I didn't need to linger in there to turn out the lights since my brother still wasn't home.

Engagement

Here are a few pictures I stole from my sister-in-law from the night we announced our engagement - extremely awkward for me, by the way. I think I just about had a panic attack having to make that announcement in front of everyone. I really don't do well in that kind of situation.

Kraig didn't know where I was and I had been holding his coffee so he asked where his coffee was - not where I was, where his COFFEE was. Looks like he found his coffee!

My ring!!! I love it!!! (and my orangey looking nails from the gloss stuff I put in my hair that morning lol)

After the announcement everyone was taking a look at the ring.

Hmm . . . picture for an engagement announcement perhaps?

Here's me hugging my dad - and laughing because he hugged Kraig first and was like "oops! I have to hug you too!"

Change

So many things have changed since I last wrote. Of course, that was over two years ago so that's only to be expected. However, many of the changes in my life are things I never expected at all. I still work at Barnes & Noble and am thinking of going back to school in October. Also, I'm now engaged to the guy I started dating not long after my last post on here, which I am very happy about.
The only thing about being engaged that doesn't thrill me is the wedding. While I've come to realize that there are other girls out there who also feel like vomiting at the prospect of planning a wedding, most people don't understand my lack of enthusiasm for what is supposed to be the biggest day of my life, which, as a female, I'm expected to have dreamt about since I was a child. But the thought of having a wedding never occurred to me until I started dating Kraig. Maybe I should have payed more attention in my Family Living class in highschool when we were planning imaginary weddings instead of just cutting out anything brightly colored from wedding magazines to glue to my display board.